THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE

 

Commandment 1 - Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning

Commandment 2 - If you want a woman to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep

Commandment 3 - Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4 - Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. In the fourth year, their lawyers speak and the judge listens

Commandment 5 - When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is

Commandment 6 - Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one

Commandment 7 - Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish

Commandment 8 - Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife

Commandment 9 - Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste

Commandment 10 - A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished