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This
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THIS
WAS AN E MAIL SENT TO ME
I
may or may not endose the comments - after all my friends and
family don't call me Victor for nothing
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I am better than your kids
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If
you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that
you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids
have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower
or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures
much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster
than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior
to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art
work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning
a grade A through F for each piece:
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Megan,
age 4
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First
of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed
to be a dog, then it's the shittiest dog I've ever seen.
F
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Kyle,
age 8
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You
spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn
America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow
anywhere, traitor.
F
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Lisa,
age 6
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Holy
shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three
words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have
ears, dipshit.
F
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Cameron,
age 4
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Bryce,
age 10
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This
one wouldn't be too bad if the color was kept inside the
lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors
and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one
hand I want to give an A for
effort but...
F
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Jon,
age 8
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Ding
Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I've never seen a fire
truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned
to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit.
F
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Rachel,
age 7
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That's
interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the
rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would
be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you
RACIST? Nice try, Hitler.
F
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Jason,
age 6
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This
one would receive an A if the
assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper
as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that
look more coherent than this.
F
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Seth,
age 4
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Vrrrroooooooooooommmmmm!
F
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Kelly,
age 9
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This
was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents.
Good
job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home.
If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come
home from school and find all their shit outside in a box.
What a lousy gift, seriously.
You
give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed
drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like
this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to
find a napkin and some markers?
F
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any budding art critics out there who
would like to add their own comments - instant
message me and I'll see what I can do!
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